2010 at a glance
I've read this quote a couple of times in the past few days.
Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards.
-Soren Kierkegaard-
Another year has passed and it is the time of the year again where I look back on the year that was. 2010 was the start of a new decade. Though this is exciting for many, thinking back at the year that just passed me by, I really do not know what to feel about 2010. It felt like I just drooled throughout the year and either I was working, studying or thinking of quitting. At the beginning of the year, when looking back at 2009, I ended saying that 2009 was a pretty bad year for me. It felt like 2010 wasn't any good either.
I don't recall much of what happened in January. It was the peak period, it was all work and no play all the way into February. One highlight of January would probably be January 28. The day when my contract with JPA lapsed. And I am now a free man.
Along came Chinese New Year. This year's CNY was spent a little differently. Instead of sleeping in the middle of LDP, we decided to spend it in Singapore. It was a good couple of days away from work and immediately after that it was back to work for me. I guess one of the highlight would be me inheriting my brother's iPhone. That was exciting.
March came and went. April came and went. As usual, the highlight was work. Long hours crappy job lousy pay. And yes, I hear you going "tell me something new". The peak period of 2010 was alright for me working hours wise. I didn't really have to stay past 12am most of the time. Gosh I'm considering that sort of working hours alright?! In some countries I believe it is illegal to work that many hours But I had a few challenging clients. Clients who are unreasonable, clients who get upset at you for doing the right thing because the right thing was an inconvenience to them. Come on, not everyone is willing to bend the rules. Certainly not me.
April was also the month that I got rid of Streamyx and switched to UniFi. Having my internet and phone delivered through fibre optics was a pleasant change and it has also changed the way I perceive free public internet. Now, when I step into Starbucks or something, I get a little annoyed at the speed of their internet. Coz sometimes it doesn't even work at all! But thank God for technological advances. =)
It was also some time this month that I received news that a former schoolmate jumped to her death in Singapore. It seemed like she was at the top of her life - doing well in studies, had great friends, right on track to be the next best dentist. But she decided to end her life just like that. It certainly made me pause and think for a while.
May and June were months filled with much thinking. There was Change Your World Quests and Tour. It was a challenge to do something to change the world we live in. Though till today I haven't given much thought about how I can do that. I was determined that I could stay in Malaysia and change Malaysia, but few months down the road and I'm checking out my options for migration again. Much thinking also included thinking about career. About whether to drop everything I'm doing now and pursue my childhood dream.
And yes, I started taking French lessons as well. Though I would really hope to continue taking them in the near future. Bonjour isn't gonna take me around France. Or Canada.
July and August were probably the lowest points in my life. For a few factors. The biggest hit being getting an average performance rating while people who did worse than me got a better rating. And not that I'm thinking too highly of myself or what, but even some of my bosses think that I did a better job than my rating. But nothing much could be done coz they tried to push me up to the next rating but in order to do that they have to justify that the people ranked above me are worse performers compared to me.
It was really difficult to accept that fact and till today I'm still not really alright about it. I was close to giving up at that point in time, but one of my managers sat down with me and explained the whole situation and asked me not to be discouraged. But seriously, being ranked lower than people who are seriously tidak-apa in doing their work is seriously a hard pill to swallow.
On top of that, July is usually a pretty relaxing month for auditors. Not many deadlines and stuff. And while most of my colleagues were sitting in office with nothing to do, I was reporting to up to 4 bosses simultaneously. It felt like I was the only one working like hell. Coz the rest were playing games, reading newspapers and doing anything but work in office. Do all this and still get lousy performance rating.
Then right after that I was assigned the worst client in my industry. It was quite a torture, having to juggle what happened with my performance review and this seriously crappy client with a backlog audit. I must have complained so much these 2 months. But I'm glad that it's all over now. Though I might have to go into this client again this year coz the client requested that I be in the team for the next audit. *faint*
September saw my first overseas assignment. I was sent to Shanghai. =) Worked like crazy for 2 weeks, but thank goodness it was their Mid Autumn festival and National day period so I managed to squeeze in some sightseeing while I was there as well as pop by the Shanghai Expo. Shanghai was an eye opener and I actually adore that place. Wouldn't mind working there a couple of years too!
October, November and December were pretty much occupied with studying. Subjects got more difficult and it was kinda stressful wondering if I was going to pass the tests I sat for, since I seriously had no idea what the question is asking most of the time. I shall wait for my final results in a few week.
I also spent a bomb on an iPhone 4. Best luxury item bought thus far. Now I don't have to spend days waiting for stuff to load on my phone.
Then along came December. Usually the best month of the year, but this time around it was filled with uncertainty and dread. Knowing that I'll be back at work real soon, lots of seniors have resigned and us experienced associates will have to fill in for them. Doing senior stuff and getting associate pay. And also with so many people resigning, the firm hired mostly fresh graduates. Which means we have to coach them a lot during the peak period. Normally the peak period is a time where you just go in and audit without thinking. Coz you don't even have time to think. Now we have to get familiar with a new audit software AND coach the newbies at the same time AND handle some jobs without seniors. Gah.
So that pretty much sums up my year. As I said at the beginning, 2010 wasn't exactly an awesome year for me. I see people around me moving on in life, progressing and stuff. And it feels like I've been stagnant for the past 2 years. I hope 2011 will be a better year. I hope that by the time I do this next year I will have a brand new job doing something I'm actually passionate about.
And I seriously hope the job related frustrations of the past 2 years will be worth it in the future. I'll never know now, since life has to be lived forwards but will only be understood backwards.
Here's to a (hopefully) better 2011.
